My Journey to God

 Many of us Humans are prone to look back on our lives in introspection, pondering the many roads that led us to where we are now. When doing this, one will almost always come upon a memory that we stay on for a while. We chew on it, hash over it until we find an answer for it, and then return to the original course of our thoughts. We agonize at times over mistakes or traumas and wonder if there was something we could have done differently to change the outcome. This is healthy, but only to a point. Dwelling on the past in a morbid fashion can prevent the 'now' or the 'tomorrow'. You can become stuck in a loop and, if in said loop too long, you can become trapped in it, trapped in the past. Many of us have traumas that have great effect upon our lives, that changed our trajectory if you will. Yet, if you think about who you are now, and are not totally disgusted by that person, then changing even the smallest thing in your past would have massive unforeseen consequences. 

I grew up in a nominally Roman Catholic home, raised by a single mother. I went to grade school and high school, both RC and paid for by the Church as we were poor. It was a good education but I just didn't take to the teachings, such as they were. As soon as I was out on my own, I did what many a youth did. I went my own way. Oh, I believed that God was real, KNEW he was real, but I didn't think he really had that much to do with us. After all, all one had to do was look around you and see all the evil that men do to each other. Evil that had been done to me at age 12 and haunts me somewhat to this day. A loving god would not allow that! I use the small 'g' here as that 'god' was one of my OWN making, which is something we fallen creatures are wont to do. 

So, I went about living life. I worked, I played, I chased women though not successfully. That was for the best, I think. So, there I am in around 1990/91 at a truck stop in Memphis, In and there are some guys wandering from truck to truck. I notice them talking to some drivers and giving books to others. When they came to my truck I learned that they were from a local Baptist church and they were evangelizing. I listened for a bit, asked a few questions and then they asked if I wanted a Bible. I said "Sure!" The leader handed me one with the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. I looked at him and said "What? You don't believe in the Old Testament?" I was being a smart alec. Well, he takes his own Bible, writes some scripture verses in it, and gives it to me. I thanked him. It was a simple paperback NIV, mass-produced to reduce costs, but it was his. And now mine. I was touched. I still have it. It's beat up, but I'll be buried with it. 

I started reading it. More and more. I believe that was when God called me to him. He does that. He gave me to Jesus. Jesus tells us this in The Gospels; "All that the Father gives me are mine." I don't know why God called me out of my sin and changed my heart from stone to flesh. After all, I am not worthy. I'm a wretched sinner who has flaunted much of this life he gave me. Nevertheless, He called and I answered. I was later baptized by an Assemblies of God church. Baptized in Lake Michigan. It was a wonderful moment in my life! So amazing! The creator called a wretch like me! He is gracious! I didn't deserve His mercy. None of us do. We all deserve to go to Hell. Yet His son Jesus, also called The Christ, took the sins of all believers upon himself, and drank the full cup of God's wrath. He paid the debt I could not. THAT, is humbling. 

Since then, I've been on a journey of growth in my knowledge of Him. That journey will last through eternity. I grow every year, some years more than others. I fail and fall into sin from time to time, and He is faithful to forgive. I won't go into the churches I've been a part of or why I left. Suffice to say, God brings us to where He wants us at any given time. I don't claim to understand His will, but I know that if it glorifies Him, it's perfect. These days, it's becoming more difficult. Satan has many agents inside many churches. He is busy twisting the Gospel out of true, perverting His order, and many who are undiscerning are following along. As Scripture warns, they've become "futile in their thinking." What remains for me, and many others, is to remain true to the Word of God and make NO compromises. The truth can hurt, and the Gospel is an offense to the perishing, but water to the thirsty. Jesus warned that "the way was broad and the gate wide that leads to destruction and many enter therein. But the way and the gate to slavation are narrow and few find it." It's hard to remain on the narrow path. The world calls to its own every day. It is a hard call to resist but with God, all things are possible. Amen!